Oh nope. I’m getting that feeling. This was a bad choice. Totals. Tootles? Toddles? Toot tuls.
Are these text posts good for me? I’m not saying anything clever or new. I’m just… I don’t know. Meh. Maybe I’m overthinking it. By repeating myself it probably makes it seem that my thoughts are more narrow than they actually are but I’m only comfortable with sharing a few versions of myself online even if those specific versions of myself are really personal. It’s weird.
I miss symbolism in books all the time because it’s either waaaay too out of my league or it feels too shallow and obvious so I just filter it out.
It’s like $400 anyway so maybe I should change my first name too while I’m at it but that’s a bigger deal. I should probably test it out first. Names are weird.
I think I’ve sat with the idea for long enough and I want to go get my name changed to this specific thing except I don’t want to explain it to people and it’s a little hard for me to pronounce because I can’t always speak like a normal human being but it has a good vibe and it might make me feel safer and more me.
I want to be one of those people who invents something awesome because they’re too cool to deal with current day technology. I’m going to make a smartphone app where you can literally send your vibes to someone just because I’m bad at words. Also how do you even portray vibes online. It’s too hard. I don’t like it.
I’m not going to say sorry for spamming my followers and I’m not going to feel bad about it either.
Still deciding on whether it’s possible for me to have a healthy relationship with the internet.
I really hope I end up being okay at some point. Just on every level.
It’s been less than two months which is disappointing.